Feb 19 Assertiveness

I recently read an article which described someone as “way too assertive.” I found this startling and a bit confusing. To a mental health professional, it is impossible to be overly assertive.
Assertiveness means standing up for ourselves, speaking out for what we need, having a voice. It means when someone is standing on your toes you say so, and you do it without fighting.
To be assertive is not the same as being aggressive. Aggressiveness is using force, battling, intruding on another’s boundaries. Those who are aggressive stand on someone else’s toes.
Being aggressive is the opposite of being passive. Passiveness is reluctance to speak up, remaining quiet even when problems exist. It means giving in, no matter what the cost. Many assume that being passive is the only alternative to fighting.
But those who are passive likely won’t get what they need, and it is hard for someone to be at peace who doesn’t have basic necessities or feels unsafe.
We need to be assertive instead of passive so we can stand up for ourselves. We need to be assertive instead of aggressive so we don’t fight every time we need something. In order to have peace, it helps to be assertive.